Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
