if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
