Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
well most of my day revolves around power hour
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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