No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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