Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
