hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
