If that was your dad, he is hot
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize