I think I am morally bankrupt
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
