I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
