Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize