it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
