she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
