nut hugger
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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