I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
