I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize