Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
