I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
