i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
