You can't special order awesome
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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