not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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