Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
