I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
