Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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