I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
