One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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