I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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