your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
