Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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