Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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