Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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