Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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