What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
