I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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