You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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