He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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