so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
