i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
