I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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