3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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