where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
