Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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