I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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