I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
