Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
