I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
