I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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