I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
