I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
