i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
