and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
