I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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