question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
