This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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