the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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