cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
