never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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