that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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